### Quips and Confessionals

**Kate L. Johnson**  
@katejohnsonwrites

Bi Exvangelical pastor’s eldest daughter writing for recovering church kids & those rebuilding life after survival. Essays on purity culture, estrangement, shame, & creative rebirth. Occasional humor. For those learning to belong to themselves again.

Quips and Confessionals  
3  
[630 subscribers](https://substack.com/@katejohnsonwrites/subscribers)  
• [#10 Rising in Humor](https://substack.com/leaderboard/49692/rising?focusedPubId=6024495&backAction=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack.com%2F%40katejohnsonwrites)

**ActivityPostsLikes & RepliesReads (199)**

[Kate L. Johnson](https://substack.com/@katejohnsonwrites)  
[12m](https://substack.com/@katejohnsonwrites/note/c-281949329 "Jun 24, 2026, 11:07 AM")

BREAKING NEWS: I’m officially creating a Rotisserie Chicken Theology for the people.

What doctrines should I include?

Note: I am thinking along the lines of the Beautitudes and feeding the hungry than my own retirement income.

[Kate L. Johnson](https://substack.com/@katejohnsonwrites)  
[1h](https://substack.com/@katejohnsonwrites/note/c-281923132 "Jun 24, 2026, 10:23 AM")

THIS. THIS is the one.

Does having a Costco Rotisserie Chicken Theology make me a public theologian?

I am one with the people. ✊🏼🍗

[Richard Propes](https://substack.com/@richardpropes)  
[1h](https://substack.com/@richardpropes/note/c-281910938 "Jun 24, 2026, 10:03 AM")

I think if you establish a theology of rotisserie chickens you may have your retirement income.

**[Kate L. Johnson](https://substack.com/@katejohnsonwrites)**  
[2h](https://substack.com/@katejohnsonwrites/note/c-281891054 "Jun 24, 2026, 9:28 AM")

I just got Top 10 Rising in Humor on Substack for psychologically profiling Veggie Tales characters and measuring my writing success in Costco rotisserie chickens, but okay.

P.S. My writing income now earns me 4.5 Costco rotisserie chickens a month. 🎉🥳

P.P.S. I do actually talk about faith, theology, and the church quite a bit with a hea…