Toys + Family Connection

September Notes

Amy Holistically

Sep 27, 2025

Writing this in a tiny bit of quiet, amongst the chaos that is the school holidays. I actually never thought the school holiday chaos would be felt in our home seeing as we homeschool - but I suppose the additional people, well, everywhere of course changes the energy around the place.

My stepsons AKA The Big Boys come to stay in the holidays. Which we all absolutely love but again, of course, the dynamics change and there’s simply more people around. Time is flying past very quickly though, and soon enough it will be Term 4. I’m not sure I’m quite prepared for the end of the year and how quickly that is about to come around.

How are you going? Either moving into Winter and hopefully slowing down a little, or like us in the Southern Hemisphere, moving into Spring and seeing the garden growing, inspiring some life.

A Quote

That’s getting me through at the moment. Miss 8 recently said to me, amongst a deep conversation about life and death, and what comes next: “I want me and you, in every lifetime. I never want to do this without you.” And it made me think, we spend so much of our life chastising ourselves, praying for another chance to do better tomorrow, running through all the things we should do differently, or more gently, or more kindly, or more fun - when actually, our children love us and everything that we already do (most of which we don’t notice !). If things have been hard lately, take that reminder on board and flip the script to what you HAVE done great.

A Q&A

“What do you do about toys? Yay or nay? And if yay, how do you manage the chaos?”

We have been the people with every single toy that existed - and it. was. chaos. The amount of time I spent cleaning up, putting things away, just for the kids to dump them out and walk away.

When we decluttered the house, we also decluttered the toys. And we have continued this ever since - I think we’re at the point of the lowest amount of toys so far in our family journey.

Our lens:

• Kid’s don’t need endless toys. We have noticed each time we’ve gone on holiday and taken maybe 1 toy per child, yet the kids have happily occupied themselves with it, or with sticks and other bits and bobs from around where we’re staying. When there’s less toys, they’ll play with real life things (washing things in the sink, playing with kitchen utensils or natural objects), help with house jobs, or be more creative in their play.

• Having toys and a playroom/toy room often separates the family. Sure it’s nice for a break, but we found that was quickly diminished by them wanting us in there and/or me then having to re-tidy it all. A few communal toys which they can use anywhere in the house has worked best for us.

• Too much stuff is overwhelming and leads to a messy, unmanageable house and bedroom for the kids. This isn’t just reserved to toys though and includes books, clothes etc! Simplicity creates calm and security and focus for the kids (and the adults)!

How we manage it:

• We chat to the kids about how toys are nice, but not something we place a lot of value on. We’d rather spend time going somewhere, exploring or trying something new as a family.

• We emphasise how a clear home, feels good and affects our energy. Yes, we can have stuff, but we need to have a home for it and if things become unmanageable then it’s a sign that we’ve got too much within our home.

• We prioritise toys / activities that we can do as a family, or that there is at least a shared enjoyment in. For our family it’s largely board games, a little bit of puzzles, lego and magnetic tiles have been a longstanding hit.

• Each child does have their own special interest, so they do have that in their room (eg LOL dolls for Miss 8, monster trucks for Mr 7, robots for Mr 5).

• We regularly declutter, and if we’re unsure, we move toys into a box stored in the garage. If it’s not asked about for a few months, we check in again with the child and then send it on.

There is no right or wrong way to do it - it largely comes down to your family kaupapa (foundational values), what works for you and your kids, and how your home feels! Some people rotate toys (I tried, but could never be faffed haha), some have them all out and everywhere - for us, less is more manageable, more chill and happier!

Latest Reccs

None of these are affiliate links - these are just some of our tried and true, favourites that we use in our home :)

2 Books

A couple of books for reading more on the toy buzz:

• Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About Raising Children by Michaeleen Doucleff

• Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne*

*This one isn’t so ND friendly, so read it with discernment. It has a HEAP of gems, but there is also a fair bit of NT parenting style in there.

Boardgame

Pokemon Battle Academy is our current fav family board game. Niche, I know… BUT it’s actually amazing so if you have pokemon fans I highly recommend you look into it! It’s a 2 player game card/board, where you essentially take turns evolving, powering up and “battling” your opponents Pokemon. I haven’t described it well, but I’ll say this - as a Mum, even I enjoy playing it! And is epic for learning too (reading, strategic thinking as well as multi-digit addition and subtraction!). The game says 6+ but our 5 year old plays it just fine. It’s out 24/7 in our home, and most days we’re playing it by 6.30am haha!

The specific game is called Pokemon TCG Battle Academy Series 3.

Family Rhythms

Some family rituals we love to incorporate into our year for connection and the mems:

• Morning circle: we use nonviolent communication feelings/needs cards, spread them out and share with each of the family how we’re feeling that morning, and what we need. You could do this without any cards, or print some of your own! It is such a basic little rhythm, and only takes a few minutes but it gives really good insight into what’s going on for each person in the family - including the adults! Sharing our needs leaves space for us to ensure each team member is looked out for during the day.

• Evening High/Low/Buffalo: before bed, we each take a turn sharing our highlight from the day, our low, and our buffalo (your buffalo is something you’re looking forward to, or something else you want to share). Sharing the low sandwiched between two positives, helps let out the worries and process the day or pent up angst, and still ends on a happy night. When our big boys come to stay, or we have visitors / family staying they join in too.

• Writing book: my daughter and I have started this with a journal that can share letters and notes, and feels that want to be expressed but are a bit awkward etc. Having written communication vs always needing to talk has been amaze for Miss PDA too!

Okay, I’m off to play yet another round of Pokémon Battle Academy (pray for me, haha). Until next time - big love, clear homes, and more calm than chaos.

Amy xx