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Helping young people own their attention and build the skills and mindsets they need to flourish as humans.

10 minutes, one video, and the best AI conversation with my kids yet

How not leading with "What do you think?" sparked the conversation I'd been looking for.

Meghan Fitzgerald

May 27, 2026

These are the three humans I’d do literally anything for. Though I don’t identify as a “tiger mom,” there’s something about the social shifts happening that can get the big cat in me both frightened and all fired up. Most of all, I want to make sure I’m doing what I can to prepare my trio, and all kids to flourish.

Recently, from tech conferences to the Vatican, we’re beginning to hear the same urgent call: slow down and think carefully about how artificial intelligence is shaping us. And, we are only at basecamp one of what AI can and will do. That’s what makes right now the moment to actively prepare kids to navigate it. What is clear is that this technology will only get more powerful and more seamless, so doesn’t it make sense to examine it together while it’s still easy to see the machine?

AI is a hyperobject — and that reframe can actually help

If you read some of the same sources I do, we’re not for a lack of examples of how AI is changing our world and our lives. And yet, AI is just so massive. So where do you start? How can you possibly be comprehensive? What is the simple, straightforward way to protect and prepare your kids?
I don’t think there is only one. But understanding why there isn’t one turns out to be a really helpful place to begin.

I’ve heard AI described as a hyperobject. This is a term coined by philosopher Timothy Morton to refer to things “massively distributed in time and space relative to humans.” Things as enormous and thorny as evolution or climate change. In short, hyperobjects are so vast and complex that humans find it difficult to comprehend their enormity. They influence our lives in ways we can’t fully perceive or comprehend and, instead of feeling in control, we increasingly feel forced to adapt. That load can feel extra tough when we’re trying to protect and prepare our own kids.

But here’s what I found when I read further: the way around a hyperobject (really, through it) is to first accept its massive scale and abandon the search for the simple, airtight rules that make it manageable. Then, explore it from various angles. Stay curious. Keep asking questions. Find its edges, understand how it operates, figure out what role it can play in your life, and figure out how to take action.

Take it one step at a time.

This is exactly the approach I try to take with my kids when it comes to AI. And, it’s the approach I want them to learn to take with the hyperobjects they’ll encounter as they grow, too. Last week, I had a real breakthrough, specifically around chatbots. Here’s how it went:

I’ve got the advice…but how to get there?

I recently stumbled across MIT Technology Review’s You need to talk to your kid about AI. Here are 6 things you should say. One popped right out at me: “Don’t forget: AI is not your friend.” Yes! I thought. I want my kids to develop just that kind of gut-level spidey sense that artificial intelligence is not human and plays a different role in their lives than IRL friends.

I knew well enough, though, that just dropping that line in conversation would get me nowhere. What I needed to figure out was not how to tell them that, but how to start a conversation that could end with my kids telling me, “Don’t forget, mom: AI is not your friend.”

The problem with asking what kids think

A recent Pew Research study found that about 30% of teens use AI chatbots daily — up from essentially zero in 2022. Whether your kids are in that group, nowhere near it (like my 11 year old), or somewhere in between, one thing is clear: agents are everywhere, and proliferating at breakneck speed. That means that our kids will encounter interactive, artificially intelligent technology at every turn in their lives, no matter which boundaries we or they put up. And this, of course, means we need to talk about it. But the problem is, how do I engage my kid in a conversation where their curiosity starts to lead them to learning?

Ask a question like, “What do you think about AI chatbots?” and many adolescents quickly scan your voice, your face and your body language, then generate a response that complements whatever they ascertain that you think. Whether it’s to please you, avoid a slightly uncomfortable conversation, or head off another round of restrictions ( what will she ban now?!), the conversation rarely gets as fruitful as you want and need it to become. But what may actually work? The chance to observe someone else. Someone like them, but is not them at all.

A video worth watching together: kid and bot

We’ve had real luck watching a short interaction between a kid and a voice bot. When the 1 minute of footage starts, the kid, we’ll call him “Finn” has just prompted Miles, the chatbot for advice on how to finagle a bit more screen time.

What did this short video inspire? Just the kind of conversation I was looking for. Starting with someone else’s experience does a few things at once. For kids who haven’t had much exposure to human-like AI, it makes the dynamic visible in a way that abstract conversations can’t. For older kids, talking about a younger kid activates their protective instincts, and it sidesteps the defensiveness that can creep in when they worry the conversation is really about their own choices.

How it unfolded

I introduced it simply: Hey, do you have about ten minutes to watch something short and then tell me what you notice? Once I got a yes: You’ll see a kid named Finn — about your age — talking to a chatbot. Right before the video starts, he prompted the chatbot to help him figure out how to get his parents to give him more time for video games. Just watch and see what you think.

Deep gratitude for the humans who shot this video for being willing to share it with all of us, and for friends at the Rithm Project for bringing this simple but powerful moment to my attention and, in turn, to yours.

After watching, I started open-ended: What did you notice? How did you feel watching that? Then, depending on where the conversation went, I followed with questions like these:

• Feeling it out: How do you think Finn felt during that interaction? Did anything seem off to you?
• The human question: Did you catch what the chatbot said about grandparents? What did you make of that? How do you feel about AI saying things like that (i.e. designed to make it seem human)?
• Following the incentives: Why do you think the people who built the chatbot designed it that way? What do you think their goal is?
• Getting personal: Have you ever experienced something like this? Do you have friends who have?
• Looking out: How would you know if an AI was designed to seem human without telling you? How might it change how you interact with it?
• Looking ahead: What kinds of questions or problems feel like the right ones to bring to an artificial bot? What kinds of questions or problems feel like the right ones for another human?

What my kids had to say

Here are just a few takeaways with the conversation I had with my kids, which did, in fact, lead nicely into even more conversation.

(11 year old) “It shouldn’t say it had grandparents. Computers don’t have families. It seemed like Finn thought that was kind of weird, too.” (13 year old) “Maybe it’s like the story writing we’re doing in school. You have to make characters relatable for the reader. Maybe they’re trying to make the AI relatable.” (15 year old) “I can tell it’s not real, but maybe younger kids can’t. I don’t think [my sister] should use chatbots yet.” (15 year old) “I can see why people try to go to AIs with problems that feel embarrassing or hard to talk about. But, it feels like you wouldn’t really hand off the problem if you did. It’s like you feel real relief when you can tell a real person, and AI just gives you a moment of feeling better, but you’re still alone with your stuff.” (11 year old, a few minutes later) “You know how there are dates on food so you know when they are unsafe to eat? Why don’t we have something on the screen that tells you it’s not human? And it shouldn’t act like it is, either.”

The study continues

This kind of conversation won’t hand you a bulletproof rule that keeps your kids safe from chatbots. It’s also only one step in many towards preparing and protecting. And I’ve come to believe that chasing that one rule or chat is not only futile, it’s actually pulling us off course.

What I want to give my kids instead is a strong habit of curiosity and a predisposition to keep studying their landscape. To keep asking of new experiences: What’s going on? What’s beneficial here? To me, to other people? What’s dangerous? What can I do about it?
That’s how you navigate something too big to see all at once. One angle, one conversation, one kid at a time.