This is 63: Samina Najmi Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"Maybe I feel younger because there’s so much I still want to learn and do."

Sari Botton

Jun 24, 2026

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Sometimes you’ll find responses from writers, musicians, and artists you’ve heard of—like Kate Pierson, Neko Case, and many others—but more often it will be people you haven’t heard of, Humans of New York-style.

Here, Sing Me a Circle author and multiethnic US literature professor Samina Najmi responds. - Sari Botton

How old are you?

Sweet 63, born in ’63!

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?

I feel, as Sandra Cisneros says in her story “Eleven,” that when you’re 11, you’re also 10, 9, 8, and all the ages you were before then. So, I’m 63 and also all the years I’ve been from one to 62. Some days I’m arrested at 43—a big year, when I moved my family from Boston to Fresno and began teaching at Fresno State. Other days I shrink into my unsure 13-year-old self.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

Throughout childhood and much of my adult life, I felt older and had older friends. But now I feel roughly ten years younger than my age. Perhaps this is because I’m a late bloomer—had my kids in my late 30s, arrived at my tenure-track job in my 40s, and produced my debut book at 62—so in those contexts, my “peers” haven’t always been my age.

I’m surprised how relevant I feel, how not afraid to be alone. Women, in particular, are raised to dread the loss of youth and beauty. Come to find that at 63, I have more time to engage in my communities and at the same time enjoy my solitary splendor!

What do you like about being your age?

You know, right now my life is in an unnatural state of perfect balance. I’ve been around long enough, with enough luck when I needed it, to have something to show for my years. Weathered my share of storms and lived to write the tale.

What is difficult about being your age?

The tell-tale signs of what’s ahead: a stiff and stubborn thumb on my dominant hand, how much longer it takes to memorize my students’ names. For me the difficulty is not in being 63; it’s in knowing there’s a lot left to lose, including loved ones.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

Aging has given me the gift of self-knowledge and self-assurance. Time, rather than aging, has taken away loved ones.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

Like many people, I’m much surer of myself—my worth, my values, my way of doing and seeing things. Getting older has made me much more mindful of my responsibility to be a good ancestor.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later?

I’d like to celebrate my threescore-and-tenth with as many of my loved ones around me as possible.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

My favorite age so far has been 62. This may have to do with my innate optimism, but it’s also true that it’s a privilege to grow old.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

My mother comes to mind because she’s still curious about the world in her 80s. She remains positive despite limited mobility.

What aging-related adjustments have you made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

I’ve now added a wide-brim hat to my repertoire and just signed up with a physical fitness trainer. My adjustments have been about redistributing my resources to reflect my priorities in this phase of life.

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

I still wear makeup and color my hair but draw the line at cosmetic surgery. I’m invested in sharing my truths as they are.

What turn of events had the biggest impact on your life? What took your life in a different direction?

That moment in 1988 when I received a telegram from Tufts University saying I had been accepted to the doctoral program in English.

What is your number one regret in life?

I wish I had been able to slow down and savor the moment more while raising my children.

What is high up on your “bucket list?”

I’d like more writing, more reading, more traveling—Egypt! Morocco!—and more meaningful engagement in my communities.

Is there a piece of advice you were given, that you live by?

My father often said: "Something is better than nothing," reminding me to embrace the small acts of doing.

What are your plans for your body when you’re done using it?

I’m donating my organs, leaving further decisions to my children.

How do you feel about dying? And what do you expect to happen to your “soul” or “spirit”?

I’m not afraid. I realized this when diagnosed with breast cancer. I believe energy never dies, and love is an energy.

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

It doesn’t have to be anything out of the ordinary; just a concentration of the small beauties that matter to me in day-to-day life.