I Never Want to Talk to the Lambo Guy Ever Again

Sometimes life falls apart all at once... and somehow still gives you exactly what you needed.

June 13th. Around 11 p.m.

If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been for the last seven days... this is why.

Everything that could’ve possibly gone wrong started that Saturday night.

I had just gotten home after hanging out with some friends. My family was picking me up at four o’clock the next morning because we were leaving for South Padre Island, so all I wanted to do was finish packing, take a shower, get a couple hours of sleep, and be ready before my mom got there.

Earlier that evening, Kyle had texted me asking if he could come over.

I told him, “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be home in a little bit, but you’ll have to leave early because I have to be up at four in the morning.”

He said okay.

When I pulled into my driveway, I noticed his truck was already parked outside my house. I grabbed my bag, locked my car, and started walking toward my front door.

He was standing outside waiting for me.

I smiled and said, “Come on in.”

He looked at me and said, “No... I don’t want to come inside.”

I remember stopping for a second because I thought that was strange.

I looked at him and asked, “Why?”

He said, “Can we talk?”

So I turned around and walked over to his truck.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

He looked at me and said, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

I remember just staring at him.

“Do what?”

“This,” he said. “Whatever this is between us.”

If I’m being honest, I don’t remember every single thing that was said after that. I wish I did, but it was almost eleven o’clock at night, I was exhausted, and all I could think about was the fact that I had to wake up in a few hours for our family trip.

What I do remember is standing there in the dark, next to his truck, listening.

He told me he didn’t feel like himself anymore. He said he had been losing focus at work, and somehow it all circled back to me. He felt like every time he tried getting closer to me, I took ten steps back.

I remember standing there thinking, What do you mean?

In my head, I kept replaying everything.

We spent time together.

We went out to eat.

We talked almost every day.

So when he said I wasn’t giving him enough attention, I genuinely didn’t understand where that was coming from.

It wasn’t until a few days later, while I was sitting on the beach in South Padre, that I kept replaying that conversation.

And you know what’s crazy?

I don’t think he was completely wrong.

Looking back now, I think things between Kyle and me started changing after the day Kyle met Josh in person.

I don’t know why.

I really don’t.

Nothing happened that day where I thought, This is the beginning of the end.

It was just... different after that.

Every time Kyle and I hung out, I found myself getting irritated over the smallest things.

First it was the toilet paper.

Then it was the mango sticky rice.

Then it was the ring Josh bought me at Pandora.

Before anyone thinks those were actually the reasons... they weren’t.

I don’t even think I cared about the toilet paper.

I don’t think I cared about the mango sticky rice either.

Those little moments were just easier to focus on than asking myself the bigger question.

Why does something feel different?

I wasn’t trying to hurt him.

I wasn’t trying to choose one person over the other.

I was simply trying to figure out my own feelings while doing everything I could not to hurt two people I cared about.

Looking back now, I don’t think I’m built for a polyamorous relationship.

I know there are people who make it work, and I genuinely respect that.

But loving two people at the same time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to navigate because no matter what decision I made, someone was going to get hurt.

Including me.

At one point Kyle looked at me and said, “I’m not cut out for a polyamorous relationship.”

And honestly...

I don’t think he was either.

Then he said something that stayed with me.

He told me he felt like I had used him as a bridge to reconnect with my ex.

That one hurt.

Not because I thought he was trying to be mean, but because after sitting with it for the last week, I can understand why he felt that way.

When Kyle and I first started seeing each other, things were really good between us.

Good enough that we ended up sharing a phone plan.

Then Josh came back into my life.

None of it was planned.

I was just acting on my emotions.

And if there’s one thing I learned from all of this...

I don’t recommend trying to love two people at the same time.

The conversation kept going, but eventually it got to a point where it felt like we were both talking and neither one of us was really listening anymore.

Then he looked at me and said he thought we should just end things.

There was a long pause.

Then he asked for the phone back.

I don’t know why, but that was the part that made me angry.

Not because the phone wasn’t his—it was. He bought it for me, so technically it belonged to him.

It was the feeling.

I’ve always hated it when people do something nice for you and then, during an argument, it suddenly becomes something they can take back or hold over your head.

When I do something for someone, I do it because I genuinely want to.

I don’t keep score.

I don’t expect to collect on it later.

So I reached into my bag, handed him the phone, and said,

“Here.

Take your fucking phone back.”