I Almost Died - Exploding Unicorn by James Breakwell
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I Almost Died
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I Almost Died
Newsletter 2022-08-15
Aug 15, 2022
562
141
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I almost died.
I’ve made that claim in countless newsletters, but this time it’s absolutely true. The incident began with what I thought was a mild case of trapped gas and ended with emergency surgery and multiple days in the hospital. As I type this, I’m lying in a recovery room with an IV still in my arm. I can’t sleep, so I might as well write. I have a problem in more ways than one.
It all started Tuesday night. I was hanging out with my wife Lola in our bedroom. It was a typical romantic evening where we had a few drinks and watched TV. We’re a wild bunch. I noticed some abdominal discomfort, but I didn’t think much about it. It certainly wasn’t worth bailing on a date night over some gas, and besides, successfully forcing it out seemed like a good way to kill the mood. The way to a woman’s heart is not aggressive flatulence.
We went to bed a little after 11 p.m.. I woke up at midnight. My abdominal discomfort had progressed to outright pain, so I went to the bathroom to take care of business. (This email is going to have way, way too much personal information, but if you want the full story of how I nearly shuffled off this mortal coil, you’ll have to tolerate some specifics about how the human body works.) Weirdly, the bowel movement didn’t relieve the abdominal pressure at all. Since I couldn’t sleep, I went downstairs to pace around where I wouldn't wake up Lola. I Googled my symptoms, and it seemed like my most likely diagnosis was trapped gas. It wasn’t dangerous, but it was painful enough to make you think you had a more serious condition, like a hernia or heart attack. I followed all the tips to relieve the buildup. I sat in different positions. I walked. I did a bunch of awkward yoga poses in the dark. The pain didn’t exactly make me more graceful. The only things I didn’t try were eating high fiber foods and drinking a bunch of water because both seemed like they would make me throw up. I doubted barfing would improve my evening. The pain was bad enough that there was no way I could fall asleep. I just kept repeating the same ineffective steps over and over again. It was that or go to the emergency room. It’s not like I was going to spend money on my health.
Finally, around 3:30 a.m., I accepted reality and decided to drive myself to the hospital. I can’t stress enough what a big deal that is for me. I have really good insurance—the births of all of my kids were free, which is why we have so many—but it massively dings me for trips to the emergency room. Each one costs me a $500 copay. Immediate care, by comparison, is only $40. The latter, though, didn’t open until 8 a.m.. The pain was bad enough that I, the cheapest man in the world, decided it was worth the extra $460 to get care four and a half hours early. Also, it was a calculated risk. I thought immediate care might just send me to the emergency room, forcing me to pay for both. In a way, going straight to the emergency room was a $40 discount.
I drove myself to the ER. Our suburb has a small hospital, which is usually able to see us right away. When the nurse asked me to rate my pain, I said it was a seven or eight out of ten. She had me change into a hospital gown and gave me an IV. That seemed excessive, but I don’t know what I expected. I guess I just wanted them to give me a pill that would unleash an earth-shattering fart and let me fall asleep. Instead, they rolled me down the hall for a CT scan. My pain was concentrated in a narrow line to the left of my navel. The ER doctor thought I might have diverticulitis. That was definitely not where I wanted this night to go.
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An hour later, the doctor came back with the results. Nothing showed up on the CT scan, and he was able to rule out nearly everything serious. It wasn’t diverticulitis, a hernia, appendicitis, or a kidney stone. In fact, according to the best imaging technology medical science had to offer, I was perfectly healthy. Officially, my diagnosis was a shrug. Unofficially, it was that I was a big baby. Clearly, I, an otherwise healthy thirty-seven-year-old male, had come into the emergency room in the middle of the night and rang up a massive copay just for funzies. The nurse gave me the liquid equivalent of ibuprofen, and the doctor told me to stick with over the counter pain medicine. I was only supposed to come back if I had bloody stool. That was $500 well spent.
Photo by Robert Linder on Unsplash
I felt pretty stupid when I got home. A man’s two greatest fears when going to the doctor are as follows: 1) Nothing is wrong; 2) Something is wrong. When the diagnosis came back as a null set, it proved the problem was all in my head. I could have taken ibuprofen myself right at the start and still gotten a full night’s sleep. Instead, I arrived back in my bedroom at 6 a.m. having almost not slept at all. The over the counter stuff dulled the pain enough that I was able to fitfully doze for the next four hours. Then, I logged in to work. Normally, I wouldn’t have bothered, but I had invited over two other couples that night. I didn’t want my boss to find out I was too sick to work from home but not too sick to drink vodka and play Space Base. Let no one ever again question my commitment to board game night.
I actually went through with it. Wednesday night, the other couples came over, and we played till 11 p.m.. I was not exactly at my best. At one point, I knocked over an entire glass of soda on another player’s board. It was a jerk move, and, worse, I damaged my own game. Cardboard doesn’t grow on trees. I was in a substantial amount of pain every time the ibuprofen wore off. I was taking three pills at a time, the equivalent of a prescription dose, and it was barely keeping me upright. Still, if I was medicated and kept a small amount of food in my stomach, I could manage. When everyone was leaving at the end of the night, I didn’t have the energy to stand at the door and see them off. I had to sit down on the couch. Against all odds, I made it through the evening, and, thanks to the over-the-counter painkillers, I was even able to sleep through the night. Maybe things were turning around.
They were not. When I woke up Thursday morning, it hurt to walk. My legs were fine, but moving jostled my abdomen with every step. The pain had migrated to below my navel on a broader front than before. Unfortunately, staying in bed wasn’t an option. I had an MRI scheduled, ironically for a completely unrelated reason. My wrists have been bothering me off and on for two or three years. Right before we went on our trip to Europe, they got especially bad. They hurt so much that I couldn’t do a single rep in the gym, which had never happened before. In the past, taking it easy on my wrists for a week or two usually fixed the problem, but this time the pain lingered. I felt like my wrists were going to break when I did something extreme like lifting a light piece of luggage out of the overhead compartment or reaching into my pocket while sitting down. I was living too hard. Finally, I booked an appointment with an orthopedic doctor. He said that my right wrist just had tendonitis. I was banned from upper body lifts in the gym for four to six weeks. That was unfortunate because, even when I’m in the weight room every day, you can hardly tell. I’m not a hard gainer; I’m a non-gainer. As for the left wrist, the doctor was quite concerned. He said that he could physically feel the tendon snapping back and forth across the bone, which apparently is a bad thing. He scheduled an MRI at a stand-alone clinic to verify what was going on. He expected that I would need surgery. The MRI place called me four times to verify that I would make it to the appointment. It was a little obnoxious. Then, the day of the appointment, I could barely walk. I resisted the urge to cancel. I refused to be a liar times four.
I painstakingly hobbled my way into my van and drove to the appointment. I was just as slow walking around the clinic. When the MRI technician asked if I had ever had an MRI or CT scan before, I was able to say once, and it happened to be yesterday, but for something else entirely. She was surprised that they sent me home from the ER without a diagnosis, but she was there for my wrist, not my abdomen. The best she could do was give me yet another shrug and proceed with the wrist scan. This was a very different ordeal than the day before. The scan of my abdomen involved a very short imaging tube and only took about two minutes. The scan of my wrist involved a full-length tube and required me to sit perfectly still for twenty-five. I wasn’t sure I could do that with the pain in my abdomen, but I was already there, so I gave it a shot. Somehow, I made it. Then I limped back to my van.
My best theory for what was wrong with my abdomen was still trapped gas, even if the ER doctor hadn’t specifically endorsed it. “Suck it up, Buttercup,” isn’t exactly a lot to go on, medically speaking. On my way back from the MRI clinic, I swung by a pharmacy and grabbed a generic form of Gas-X and a laxative. I figured my best shot at feeling better was to blast everything out of my system. I’d start with the gas, and if that didn’t lead to an improvement, I’d purge the entire contents of my digestive tract. I took the maximum dose of the gas pills right there in the parking lot. Then, with the pain continuing to mount, I ran some more errands. If I was going to die, at least I’d leave the earth with a completed to-do list. I drove to the orthopedic doctor, this time for my twelve-year-old, Betsy, who needed bigger specialty insoles for her running shoes. Next, I stopped by her school to give them to her. Finally, I went home. The pain was bad, but I was optimistic. I still believed salvation was one big fart away.
I did finally pass some gas, but it didn’t help. It just moved the pain lower in my abdomen. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with how the human body is laid out, but the pain was starting to reach some regions I strongly preferred it would have left alone. I logged into my day job and worked for all of an hour. It was too much. I stepped away from my computer to take a quick nap. I crashed on the couch. When I woke up thirty minutes later, I was in the worst pain of my life. It was completely debilitating. I’d rate it a ten out of ten, at minimum. Even more problematic than the intensity was the location. It was now directly on my bladder—and on the part that drained it. As a guy, this was my worst nightmare times 100. I couldn’t even tell if I had to go to the bathroom or not because the only thing I felt was pain. I did go, and it didn’t make the situation any better or worse. The pain was constant. I hobbled to my van and drove to immediate care. I thought I might die, and honestly I didn’t dread it. It seemed like a pleasant alternative to whatever was happening to my bladder.
At immediate care, there were four people in line ahead of me. Then a fifth guy walked in. Apparently he had checked in before me but had been waiting in his car. Even in matters of life and death, I’m not a line cutter. Meanwhile, I was doubled over in pain in my seat in the waiting room. I now thought I had the world’s worst urinary tract infection or possibly a kidney stone, even though the ER doctor had specifically ruled out the latter. I wasn’t exactly subtle in my suffering. Finally, one of the other patients in the waiting room said maybe I should go to the emergency room. I agreed. I had been at immediate care for all of twelve minutes, and even that wait had been too long. I needed help now.
The drive from immediate care to the hospital was about two miles. I could barely do it. It was hard for me to look out the front window of my van when all I wanted to do was get in the fetal position. If I had waited another twenty minutes, I wouldn’t have been able to drive myself. I called Lola on the way there and told her to leave work. Whatever happened at the hospital, there was no way I was going to be able to drive myself home. When I got to the emergency room for the second time in two days, I had to put my head down on the reception desk while I checked in. Thankfully, the receptionist was able to read the context clues. She got me into a room in the ER extra fast. I put on a hospital gown and curled up in a ball on the bed. I begged the nurse for drugs. I sounded like an addict, but I didn’t care. Somewhere in there, Lola showed up. I’m a little hazy on the timeline at that point. I was in so much pain I was shaking.
It was another twenty minutes before the nurse returned to give me an IV. Those were, without question, the longest twenty minutes of my life. At least they weren’t messing around anymore. They didn’t waste my time with liquid ibuprofen. They went straight to fentanyl. The ER doctor—a different one than on my first trip—ran the same battery of tests as before, with the addition of a urine one. Producing a sample for that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It took me two extended tries to get my bladder muscles to relax enough to release anything. Immediately afterward, I had my third CT scan in two days. After that, Lola and I waited. I got another dose of fentanyl to keep me comfortable, but I developed abdominal cramping, which managed to break through all the drugs. Finally, the doctor came back. I had appendicitis, one of the conditions the other doctor had specifically ruled out the day before. In all likelihood, my appendix had already ruptured. It would have to come out that day.
The second ER doctor, who from now on I will refer to as the good doctor since she basically saved my life, got in touch with the surgeon. She said he was very strict about the patient having no food in their system for six hours before surgery. I had made myself eggs at 10:40 a.m.. I knew the time because Lola had texted me then to see if I had been able to eat. She was worried about me, or possibly just checking in to see if she could cash in on my life insurance policy yet. Looking back, I can’t believe I was in the house by myself with a ruptured appendix. If I had lost consciousness, it would have been hours before anyone would have shown up. I don’t think the pigs would have run next door for help, though they might have eaten me. At least then the kids wouldn’t have had to feed them that night. The good doctor said that anything I ate or drank would reset the clock for another six hours. I told her that, after the eggs, the only thing I’d had was a small cup of water while we waited for the test results. She told us to throw away the cup and not say a word about it. She was a very good doctor.
A nurse wheeled my bed up to the pre-surgery room. He assured me that an appendectomy wasn’t a big deal. It would only require three small incisions. Recovery would be quick and easy. I would be able to go home that night. Then the surgeon came in. He told a very different story. Yes, it was an outpatient surgery for some people. I was not one of them. My appendix was so swollen that it was pushing on my bladder, which explained the extreme pain in that region. I was in septic shock. Since arriving at the hospital, I had developed a fever, and my white blood cell count was through the roof. My bone marrow was throwing out everything it could muster, even if it wasn’t all the way ready. A different doctor later said it was the equivalent of being in a world war and getting to the point where you send twelve-year-olds into battle. We were in a Berlin 1945 scenario. If I were sixty or seventy, I would have already been dead. But at thirty-seven, I had been able to drive myself to three different medical facilities over two days, host a date night and a game night, and run a full morning of errands. But I paid for it.
The nurse wheeled me into surgery. One second, I was joking around with the staff (I felt very good on the painkillers). The next, they were wheeling me out of surgery. I found out afterward that the operation had only taken thirty minutes. That didn’t mean I was going home any time soon. What the surgeon found inside me was less than promising. My appendix had swollen to many, many times its normal size before bursting. It had accumulated what was basically a hardened poop ball on the open end. The follow-up doctor said it was the biggest one they had ever seen. Yet, somehow, the first ER doctor had missed it on the CT scan. There were reasons for that. One of them was, of course, my fault. I’m skinny with little visceral fat, which means all of my organs are squished very closely together. It’s like a family photo where you have to squeeze thirty-five cousins into the shot. Hashtag Catholic family problems. The resulting image was less than clear. The other problem was that my appendix was in the wrong place. Instead of being on the right side of my body, mine was in the middle directly behind my bladder. I don’t know if it was always there or if that’s just where it shifted when it swelled up, but that’s where it was the day the surgeon defeated it in single combat. When I told the first ER doctor about my pain, I didn’t describe any on my right side. Since that’s where appendixes are on normal humans, and since he couldn’t see anything on the surrealist painting that was my CT scan, he ruled out appendicitis. My white blood cell count wasn’t elevated at that point, which means my appendix probably hadn’t burst yet. I could have had one of those simple outpatient procedures and been back on my feet in no time. Instead, I went without medical care for thirty-six hours until it exploded, leading to excruciating pain and a much, much longer recovery time. Protip: If your official medical diagnosis is a shrug, get a second opinion. It could save your life.
Recovery has been rough. It’s now been three days since I started this newsletter. For whatever reason, I’m not writing as fast as usual. The surgeon installed a port in my side to drain the fluid in my abdomen. At first, they said it would have to stay in for five days, but today the doctor said one to two weeks. Apparently my body has to stop producing poison if I want to take it out. I’ll get right on that. I’m on a lot of antibiotics to try to kill the infection. I’m not on much pain medicine, though. I’m back down to the over the counter stuff. I have a prescription for the real deal just in case, but I’m going to try not to use it. I got out of the hospital Saturday morning, and I’m now securely in my own bed. Things don’t hurt as long as I don’t move. Looks like I’m now stationary for life.
As unlucky as I was to initially get misdiagnosed and released into the wild, I was also extremely fortunate with the timing of everything. Had my appendix burst a few days earlier, I would have been by myself in Texas. If it happened a few days later, Lola and I would have been in the middle of nowhere on a lake deep in Wisconsin. In both cases, I would have been isolated from most of my family, and I shudder to think of what the flight or drive back would have been like following surgery. Instead, I managed to fit my medical emergency into a brief three-day window when I was home during the busiest summer of my life. Needless to say, we missed the kid-free weekend of booze and boating we had planned for Friday through Sunday. Our friends weren’t sad that they missed out on the logistical nightmare of dealing with my crisis, though. Hope they enjoyed the extra empty beds. I’ll make up for lost time next year.
The surgeon said it will probably be six to eight weeks until I’m back to “normal,” whatever that means for me. Abnormal at my full potential is more like it. I’m going to be out of the gym for a very long time, but being thin nearly got me killed, so maybe that’s for the best. I feel invincible and extremely fragile at the same time. During a legitimate medical emergency and in the worst pain of my life, the only person who took me to get help—twice—was me. At the same time, I feel like my six-year-old could now beat me up. Granted, Waffle is pretty tough, but that’s still a big step down in competition. It’s going to be a long road back, but at least I’m on that road. You have to be alive to complain.
Enjoying my narrow escape from death? Share it with a friend.
A big thanks to all of you for sticking with me, especially my paid subscribers, who make all of my free and premium content possible. When I looked back, I discovered that I posted the first teaser for this newsletter at 3:11 p.m. Thursday. That was pre-surgery, when I was high on fentanyl and in the middle of septic shock. You guys really are my highest priority. Also, props to me for the lack of typos in that post.
Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. Catch you next time.
James
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Discussion about this episode
CommentsRestacks
My 10 year old woke up one morning with stomach pain. I thought it was constipation. After a few hours, I gave him an enema. He was still in a lot of pain and hated me now also. We finally went in and his white blood cell count was sky high. The surgeon said his appendix was also in the wrong place, attached to the bladder. She said usually people with their appendix there don’t come in until it had burst. I’m thankful he has a very low pain tolerance. After reading your story, I’m REALLY glad he has a low pain tolerance! Hopefully, you feel better soon!
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I had no idea how many people had their appendixes in the wrong place. And now that I know that, I'm furious that first ER doctor didn't look in any of those places to find it.
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Liked by James Breakwell
holy cow, now that's an ordeal! You now have bragging rights for a long time though, drive yourself to the ER with a burst appendix? Now that's a tough guy!! Kidding aside however, so glad to hear that things are improving and I hope that your crew is treating you like King of the Castle while you recover.
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Aug 15, 2022 Edited
Liked by James Breakwell
Wow....you had quite the ordeal! Not sure how you managed to drive while in that much pain but glad you did. Sepsis is very dangerous but hopefully all is under control now and with a few weeks r&r you will be good as new. Take it easy and let those ladies in your life spoil you a bit!
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Liked by James Breakwell
Oh gosh, I hope you're well again very soon !
Had a septic shock due to an urinary infection that went in my kidneys and I also thought I'd die... 2 month from d-day to full recovery, especially because of the antibiotics strong enough for a horse when I was 50kgs 😅
I hope you'll recover sooner ! Many thoughts and strength for you !
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This happened to my niece when she was 16. She was in horrible pain and they told her it was gas and sent her home. Her appendix ruptured and they had to remove some of her intestines. You would think at this point that ER doctors would, 1) Recognize the symptoms of appendicitis, 2) Know that appendicitis does not always show up on imaging, and 3) Know that the majority of people don't have gas so severe that it sends them to the ER. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this and I hope that by sharing your story it empowers people to stand up to their doctors.
A friend of mine showed up at the ER with horrible pain. She could barely walk. The ER doc told her there was nothing wrong. She told him she wanted a different doctor. Turns out it was her gall bladder and they had to remove it right away. I'm not saying all ER doctors are bad but they are generally juggling a lot of patients at one time and trying to move them out as quickly as they can.
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Props to your friend for standing her ground. If I had done that, I could have saved myself a LOT of pain. I'll be more like her next time.
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I had a similar experience in June, except mine was a necrotic gall bladder (yes, it was rotting inside my body. Gross.). Just a heads-up, getting the drain tube pulled out of your side is EXCRUCIATING. Make sure take the good painkillers that day. Best of luck in your recovery!
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Aug 15, 2022 Edited
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I cannot tell you how much I wish you hadn't told me the "excruciating" part. Although I kind of expected the worst.
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When they took mine out they told me people don't report pain, just a weird sensation. At the teaching hospital I was at, they even just have medical students do it. I started to be able to say yeah, it's weird, kinda like vomiting from the wrong part of your body. But then my student had to go get a real doctor to help because he couldn't get the tube all the way out. She looked at it and said oh yeah it looks like they used one that has a lip on the end and it will hurt, and before I had a second to react she just yanked it out. It wasn't burst appendix pain, but I was not happy.
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I hope this is the case. Other than the last part about the end that's too big.
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Aug 15, 2022 Edited
Sorry, man. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say. Also, it's entirely likely I'm just a gigantic man-baby.
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Author
Any tips to make it less painful? Did it hurt just at the opening, or through your entire abdomen.
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Through the entire abdomen, but literally for 1.5 seconds. It only hurt when they were pulling it out and then once it was out the pain went away completely. If you have weaned off your pain meds, just be sure to save one to take that day. Seriously, just a second or two and then done.
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Good news: I got the tube out, and it wasn't too bad. Literally just one big yank. Hurt for less than a second.
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I agree. Even with my special tube it was quick. I got over the pain immediately once I realized that thing was gone.
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Glad you made it through James!
I actually have a very similar story! My appendix burst when I was 2 and a half and the doctor told my mum I had colic- for a week! My mum took me to the ER when my lips started turning blue, and they said if she was any later they wouldn’t have been able to save me
Always seek a second opinion!
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Wow, glad you survived. Even a bad cold can kill babies. You must be incredibly tough.
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Wow, that's crazy. Glad to hear that you made it through and are on the road to recovery. My husband went to the hospital for acute appendicitis, left the hospital 2 weeks later after having to have open heart surgery for 5 blocked arteries. The doctor told me that if they would have had to do the surgery 1 day later, he wouldn't have made it.
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Before the deadline is before the deadline. I'm glad you have good timing.
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Truly terrifying - Glad for everyone's sake you survived and are on the mend. Take it easy, and get the hospital to at a minimum cover the initial $500 copay you were out of pocket.
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I had a similar experience except that my appendix actually did burst. Spent 10 days in the hospital and left with a wound vac which stayed with me for 6 weeks. Good times. Glad you're on the road to recovery.
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As close as I was to death, I got out of the hospital in three days. Yours must have been very not fun.
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10/10 do not recommend. 😉
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I knew it was your appendix from the first email. I'm a mom, we just know. Same thing happened to both of my sons. Oldest was sent home the first time because WBC was fine. Emergency appendectomy at 6PM the next day. The other one ignored the pain, "it's just gas" for several days until we almost had to carry him to the car. Emergency appendectomy, burst appendix, 8 days in the hospital. No, he didn't learn anything from it. Still puts off medical stuff until it's worse than it needs to be.
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If it weren't for our moms learning our lessons for us, none of us would survive.
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My 10 year old son had exactly the same: symptoms that didn't fit and ended up in hospital for 5 days. Took a long time to get him back to 'normal'. Don't try to do too much too soon. Glad they sorted it in the end!
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Apparently the idea that there are "textbook" symptoms for this are wrong. At some point, you'd think they'd update the textbook.
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Glad to hear you made it! What would I do on monday mornings if you hadn't? Work?
I think your ways may have rubbed off on me at some point.
Mark from Wisconsin
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You never know, I might be able to type as a ghost.
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Oh my gosh, James, what an ordeal! Please take care of yourself and feel better soon.
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Get well soon - as an attorney that has dealt with medical malpractice cases for almost 40 years, this story could have easily had a worse ending. Glad you are on the road to recovery.
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Yeah. On the grand spectrum of medical stories, this was somehow a happy ending, as unpleasant as it was to get there.
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Good heavens! You are one tough guy!
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My appendix ruptured when I was 17 years old. Turns out that I had appendicitis for 6 months - in those 6 months, I had gone to my local ER 8 (E-I-G-H-T) times. I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts (which was something I did also actually have). The cysts were blocking out the appendix so they didn't notice the swelling.
I left school sick around 11am - and walked home somehow. I don't really remember much. All I know is my mom came home from work around 9pm that evening and found that I had pulled out my hair and dug into my arms with my acrylic nails to the point of bleeding. Apparently, I was quite a sight to behold.
She then determined that it was time to venture back to the local ER, and I recall that drive being very painful. She says that I passed out numerous times (she could have called an ambulance... but of course that would have been another bill, so she just drove me and let me deal with repercussions).
Things didn't get better at the ER. So you know that disgusting contrast you have to drink prior to getting the CAT scan? I forced it down - got my CAT scan, and waited the 2 hours for the results. Turns out they didn't wait long enough for the contrast to pass through me and we had to do it all over again. Drink the nasty contrast, wait LONGER, go for another CAT scan. By now, it was around 2:00am. Shift change time. I had to wait 3 hours for the next ER Dr and radiologist to read my CAT scan.
I had a spiking fever and I don't recall the pain meds even making me feel better. The pain was unbearable (as you now know) - It's far worse than childbirth (which I was happy to learn much later in life).
Finally, around 6am, things started to move along. These Drs must have either forgotten there was only a curtain seperating us or thought I was far too out of it to comprehend what they were saying... but I overheard their conversation outside my "room" (read: curtained off area) - and they were saying I needed to get into emergency surgery immediately and I only had about another 4 hours to live.
I did NOT take this news well. Luckily, a nurse nearby hit me with a sedative and that was that. The last thing I remember is singing along with the radio going into surgery and counting backwards (I do remember what song it was - 98 degrees "The Hardest Thing" - Why do I remember that? No idea.
Woke up to them picking me up to slide me from the gurney onto my new hospital room bed. I screamed from the pain.
There's no little scar - but when my appendix ruptured, it also ruptured one of the ovarian cysts, so the surgeon said it was a MESS in there. 21 years later and I still remember how painful that was.... and I still have a 3" scar on my lower right abdomen.
Congrats on making it through. It is most definitely one of the most painful things I've ever known and I hope neither of us ever have to know any pain even close to that again.
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I’m so sorry you went through that. Never drive yourself to the ER— what if you passed out behind the wheel? I’m glad you have good insurance— don’t let them jerk you around about this. Frankly, they probably shouldn’t charge you for the second ER visit.
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Bless your heart! In a good way. I thought all the way thru it had to be a colon thing, but since you didn't barf, perhaps not. And good, too! I did the colon death thing in 2015 and rattled the surgeon and the path so bad, they wanted to meet the living 60 year old me. I am so glad you were able to find out about your appendix. Man, ya gotta be semi-Karen to get the ER to take you seriously. You're worth that extra growl to standing authority, Mr Sir. we all love your work. Please be better, be well, and don't let these turkeys piss on your Post Toasties. Blessings on you and Lola and those sweetie pies you two raise.
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P.S. - The savings of $50 by going to the ER instead of the urgent care first, is only the start. Around here, if urgent care decides you belong in the ER, they automatically get an ambulance, which you must take. That ride could cost anything from $0 to $1000, depending on the shadiness of the ambulance company, and your insurance coverage.
P.P.S - Glad you're on the road to recovery!
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Now you can be an astronaut. Astronauts go into space appendix free. Glad you got that appendix out in time. Your gals would’ve missed you.
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Wow, that's crazy! So glad to hear you're on the way to recovery. I've never had any of my internal organs explode or rot from the inside and that's 1 club I'm happy to be excluded from (even for the bragging rights!) I did have my first passing thought "Is this a heart attack" about 15 years ago. I was sitting in my living room with my girlfriend of the month and began sweating profusely for no reason, heart doing a rumba, speech slurred. I reached for a glass of water and couldn't hold the glass. I reluctantly called an ambulance (I'm a blind dude so driving is highly frowned upon). Paramedics showed up, took my blood pressure and it was something like 270 over 190. They put me on the gurney, rolled me out and ran me over to the ER. On the plus side, they blared the siren all the way, upon my request. Turned out to be a reaction to a medication I was prescribed the day before for GERD. Glad to hear you're safely out of surgery and on the mend. I'm a new subscriber and I've been enjoying the stories! Take care of yourself!
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Im so glad you’re well enough to make this post!!! I hope all your kids and pigs are helping make you comfortable and are also giving Lola extra hugs and help as this must’ve been terrifying to her, too. Tell Lola she needs to have moments of zen to help her keep everything in order, that’s important, too. Tell your huge family that help and casseroles should also come with cleaning the house and helping the rest of your family feel cared for, too, but that you definitely deserve some coddling.
I’m chronically ill and female. My grandma was sure by the time I was Betsy’s age that either there was going to be a medical condition named after me or that I was going to write a book about the incompetence of medical knowledge called “and the doctors said ‘hmmm.’” She was married to a doctor who tried to get me into all specialists he knew and we still didn’t get my underlying diagnosis figured out until I was in my 30s. I’m the same age as you, James, and you’re extremely lucky that you only had one visit for something that could kill you that was a “waste” of time. Had I been your friend and you texted me “hey disabled and chronically ill friend of mine, I just had a hospital visit a lot like a lot of yours, any advice?!” I would’ve said go right back after shift change or go to another hospital and bring your wife/someone able to leave your bedside and sweet talk the nurses for you. Driving yourself to the ER or showing up without a plus one often makes them think you’re being a big baby when it’s something that needs to be diagnosed.
I went once with extreme abdominal pain, swelling, and letting them know I hadn’t peed in a few days after my doc said “go straight to the ER you might be surgical, don’t go to urgent care, don’t come see me, make sure they give you the good drugs that work for you!” (I have a condition that means my body over metabolizes narcotics so I get zero relief and it’s hard to keep me anesthetized, there’s a few drugs that work, are all non-habit forming, but daring to ask for something by name means I’ll be given nothing or something that won’t work), and the hospital sent me home. Well I staggered out to my car (no one could go with me that day) and collapsed in the ambulance bay. EMTs showing up with another emergency got me on a gurney and screamed that they found me collapsed blocking their perfect entrance. I was suddenly taken seriously, my mom showed up, and I just narrowly missed surgery.
ERs are amazing places but the docs there aren’t always the best at diagnosis, even when other docs send their patients there specifically hoping they’ll be able to get more scans ordered and if it’s a surgery necessary to get you scheduled for one. It’s a common enough issue that people with a lot of health issues start learning where to make demands, when to make sure they can find any plus one (hey neighbor I barely know, please come with me! I need someone to underline my needs so I’m listened to!), so that what’s needed from the ER happens.
If your anatomy is off and you’re a tall, healthy, skinny, white man- know your daughters will have more issues like this in the future. Know your friends and neighbors who are female or heavier or an immigrant or (most especially) aren’t white likely would’ve taken a bit longer to be taken seriously. Especially if they drove themselves there.
Please complain about your first visit leading you to think it wasn’t serious. If that doctor humored you but didn’t actually take you that seriously and dismissed you leading to an emergency surgery- they’re likely doing the same to others. They could be fantastic in car crash and similar emergencies but weaker with conditions that make you go “hmm.” And the doctor needs a wake up call to listen better so hopefully others don’t wind up in your shoes.
Heal well! And riddle me this- are you double jointed?
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That's quite a story! And, no, I'm not double jointed. I'm the least flexible person ever to live.
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That’s good to know. I was just checking because your appendix being in the wrong place plus your oldest needing orthodics (and your wrist issues), might be a sign you have a very mild form of a genetic condition called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which in most people is never really an issue, in some people it can lead to careers in Cirque du Soleil, and in others it’s chronic issues that lead to other chronic issues (like me, and I’m not traditionally flexible, either, but all my joints can and do bend out of shape in hilariously annoying ways). So if you had a mild form of EDS it’d be good for your doctors to note for any future emergencies or for Betsy and her sisters future health needs. Better to get a thorough work up of why this happened and if anything else is in an odd place, and if it’s genetic (even if it’s not EDS). And if your wrist issues and your appendix being in a strange place might be more connected than you’d think they would be.
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Heh! I was wondering all through your previous comment whether you had EDS too. In my case it's severe, and 20 years delayed diagnosis (my first symptoms happened and were dismissed when I was just a toddler!), which meant I became a wheelchair user at the age of 25.
It infuriates me most in my case because all four of my immediate family have, or had, hypermobile EDS with very clear symptoms, and we all got the brush-off for decades.
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I hate it when our organs misplace themselves! I really don’t know why mes students aren’t required to watch ER and House - then they would know to look in all the wrong places. Anyway, glad you’re recovering.
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I am such a big advocate for advocating for Yourself when in pain and getting second, third and even fourth opinions. My mum almost died after she got into an accident and the first doctor we saw said it was just an inflammation that was causing her pain, but she was in ALOT of pain and I know my mum, she has a high tolerance for pain so seeing her in pain, I knew it was much worse than just inflammation. We went for a second opinion, only to find that some bones in her spine had gotten fractured and she had gotten a crack in her skull. If we had gone home, she wouldn't have survived the night. Quick recovery ✨
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This could be my story. Mine was post surgery infection. I went back periodically over 4 weeks and was told everything fine. Until I ended up on life support in intensive care as my organs shut down. Take recovery slowly. hope you feel much better soon
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Wow. I'm getting the impression that the first line of treatment is just to send people away. If you're really in trouble, they figure you'll go back.
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It scarily seems that way
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Had this same terrible experience a few years ago. Went to the ER with the worst pain I have had in my life (including childbirth). Dr. noted I must really be in pain (not seeking drugs) as my toes were curled. Was diagnosed with - well - it might be diverticulitis. Sent home with mild pain medication and mild antibiotics. A few days later I was still in pain and just did not feel at all right. Went back to ER. Scan showed my appendix had ruptured. Drain tube inserted (yuck), spent five days in the hospital and then sent home on IV antibiotics for several weeks before drain tube was taken out (thankfully this did not hurt as another reader noted). Then had to go back to have whatever was left of my appendix removed. Tip - take probiotics to ward off C-Diff. Although even with the probiotics I got C. Diff twice - which is treated by a different type of antibiotic. Also no fun. Hope you feel more better soon!
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Thanks for saying that taking out the drain tube didn't hurt, even if you're lying. I choose to believe, if only to keep my anxiety levels down for the next few days.
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Co-signing the probiotics tip. Before I started taking them it was...not pretty.
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Wow, very scary story.
Glad you are ok. 😊
I wonder if the first doctor found out from the good doctor, how serious your condition really was!
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I hope so. Then he'll overcorrect and take out everybody's appendixes.
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That’s funny/not funny!
Dare I say, he sounds like a dodo doctor.
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So glad this worked out and for sharing your story in the manner we have all come to love. Take it one day at a time and don’t try to be a hero and do too much too soon!
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Oh my gosh, this describes almost exactly my first ectopic pregnancy! It was strangely cathartic to read. Pain in weird places, inconclusive test results, multiple ER, urgent care and doctor office visits, and the misdiagnoses (in my case, gas, colon spasms, UTI, in my head...). My ruptured fallopian tube took 3 weeks to diagnose, and only because the placenta was still growing and eventually made enough hormones to show up on tests. And they let me out of the hospital in less than 24 hrs with the expectation that I would be back to "normal" in a week. The fluid built up because I had no stint, resulting in me blowing up like a water balloon and my incision opening up to release the fluid its own self. I'm so glad you are OK!
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Your ordeal sounds even worse than mine, which I shudder to imagine. You have my sympathies.
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Damn, Kaylee, *first* ectopic? How many have you been unlucky enough to have?
I'm necroposting, but still sympathetic - I've had far too much experience of the "in your head" diagnosis, since most people perceive me as female.
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I’m so very glad that you are doing okay.
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Yikes! I’m glad you’re on the mend.
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Glad you're better now. Sending hugs your way 😊
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Glad you're getting better!!
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That was a roller-coaster ride! So glad that you are ok. Take it easy. (Although with 4 kids, I know that is wishful thinking.)
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Yikes! Yike-dee-yikes! 😬🫣
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Glad that you're on the mend, take good care!
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Wow! I can't believe the pain you must've been in! Feel better better soon.
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Aug 15, 2022 Edited
A very similar thing happened to me! I also thought it was trapped gas and did all sorts of yoga positions in the middle of the night, to no avail. I ended up driving myself to the ER the next day, after running errands with increasing discomfort, only to sit in the hospital for hours before they wheeled me into surgery. By the time they got me in the operating room, my appendix had slowly started to rupture. We are troopers!
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What blows my mind is that I drove myself to the ER in septic shock, but now that I'm healing, the surgeon tells me I can't drive. Clearly we've both proven we can handle it.
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Glad you are still with us and doing well! Hang in there and take care of yourself!
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So glad you are on the mend! I was looking forward to the story but am sorry to hear how awful it was. Please take care of yourself.
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Please please take good care of yourself. We will be praying for you and all the family and im sure the dynamic will be very different the following weeks. Rest! You esrned it!
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Wow, not a good time at all! I hope the recovery goes well and is as pain free as possible!
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I'm glad you're ok!
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Holy geez….. I’m glad you are okay! Huge hugs. That much pain isn’t fun.
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James - did you know that Jenn Mann linked to this post in "I Think We Have a Winner"? (I thought of your dilemma when she first wrote about this issue with her daughter in a previous post.)
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This is your most popular post?? Disturbing! But hey! putting my Interfering Grammy hat on again - please get Lola to start wearing compression socks when she has to be sitting a long time. Four pregnancies is hard on your leg veins and DVT symptoms don’t get better!
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Giving you a great big hug on this one! (Long time seeing your tweets posted among funny memes, first time commenter.) My dad had a colonoscopy and said he was in pain after, and they just dismissed it as the gas they use to make the scope easier.
Long story short, the surgeon wasn't careful with the scope and hurt him so bad that he ended up losing his ascending colon. He won't ever have appendicitis, though (unless his is weird, like yours), because that's what the appendix is attached to!
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Shedding light on unknown, unpopular music albums, books saturated in an ineffable spirit of darkness, science and open-mindness... That was the initial idea of my jaroslavnovosyolov.substack.com
Everyone is welcome to subscribe and support! I also have fiction writings to share with You. Their turn will come as well! :)
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I’m so glad your doing well and getting better ❤️🩹. All the best to you and your family.
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Aug 19, 2022 Edited
This is CRAZY!! Almost this EXACT same thing happened to me about three years ago, but the first ER doctor I saw decided not to do a CT scan on me because he didn’t want to “radiate me unnecessarily.” I was pumped full of anti-nausea medicine (I was throwing up exorcist-style at that point) and pain medicine, and was sent home from the ER. Until the meds wore off, and I was back in so much pain that I literally couldn’t see straight (eyes were rolling around in my head like something out of a horror movie) that my husband forced me to get in an ambulance and go back to the ER. I was so sick from the rupture that I was in the hospital for a week and had to have TWO surgeries to get everything out. It took about two months before I could button my pants normally and do legitimate exercise, and it took about a year for all of the scar tissue in my abdomen to settle down. Of note, my pain was in the middle of my stomach, above my belly button, NOT on my right side.
The timing for my rupture was crazy too - it happened just two days before my ship was supposed to get underway (I’m in the Navy). If the rupture had happened while I was out to sea….well, I shudder to think about it. God definitely had His hand over me, and I am so grateful. It sounds like He had His hand over you, too, and I am glad you’re okay now. 💜
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Omg!! Thank God you're alright!! Take good care!
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This is a hell of a story!! I am glad you’ve been able to find your usual humor amidst it all. What a rough go of it! I’m sorry to hear about it and hoping you continue to be on the mend!
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Wow! I’m glad you’re doing better and they figured it out! It’s scary when docs can’t explain what’s wrong. I’ve gone through about 10 ER trips in the last year due to stomach issues, but thankfully my appendix hasn’t burst or anything quite so dramatic. My husband says the call it ‘practicing’ me figure because most of them are just winging it. Prayers for a good recovery. And mad props for driving yourself! Pro tip: eat yogurt and other probiotics while on antibiotics to keep your gut from going crazy. If it’s killing the infection, it’s killing the good bacteria. Benefiber makes awesome gummies with prebiotics, probiotics, and fiber - candy that’s good for you!
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Glad your not pushing up daisies
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This happened to my husband one Christmas. He fitfully slept the night through on Christmas eve but Christmas day he had emergency surgery for a ruptured appendix. I'm glad that you are recovering.
I recently went through major abdominal surgery and will likely have to take 6 weeks to recover fully. I feel your pain.
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Prayers for full And speedy recovery. Holding you in love and light.
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Thank you for considering us a priority; however, right now your health must be your priority. You have a young family and a beautiful wife who need and love you. Your fans need you to write for many more years. Keeping you and your fam in my prayers
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I wish you the very best. Let the girls take good care of you.
Greetings from Holland.
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Best of luck in your recovery! I hope you are back to good health very soon.
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Meant to add but forgot: I always think of the fact that as well as someone graduating #1 in their class, there is always the one who graduated last. And it isn't a published fact so you just never know who you are dealing with. Also, I can remember the days when they removed a healthy appendix "while they're in there". But that doesn't cover folks like you who haven't had any prior surgeries. And last, I asked husband about the drain removal. He had one two different times after his gangrenous gallbladder surgery (it was hiding behind his liver so it also wasn't an early diagnosis) and later complications. He doesn't even remember having them, so obviously it wasn't a painful removal. Let's just assume yours won't be, either!
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Wish you a speedy recovery James.
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James: that is one HARROWING experience! So glad that you made it through by the skin of your teeth, that you are alive to tell this tale and other tales for (hopefully) many more years to come! PTL!
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I know you’re still not feeling well and all but I’d kinda like to listen to the Doctor Rating segment only the link is broken?
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That’s quite a week! Burst appendix, driving yourself around for two days, that’s rough! Too bad the first ER doctor wasn’t able to see it, story could’ve been different. I was only 14 and lying on my mom’s van backseat, trying to make it to the ER at midnight. My first thought when I heard “surgery” was.. “wow, cool, a new scar”. After that I just remember giving my worst jokes to the doctors while waiting for the elevator to my room after surgery.. two weeks with a tube and no school! Take care!
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Wow, James, I thought my emergency hernia was bad but you beat me by a long shot. Glad to hear you made it thru the surgery and all and finally home where you can rest peacefully and be with family.
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I'm so glad you made it! I would miss my favorite Twitter dad. It's crazy how much ER doctors know and how much they don't. I've had my fair share of surgeries and ER visits but man yours truly scares me. You one hell of a tough guy pushing through the pain for as long as you did. Please take it easy on yourself and don't rush into anything. Hang in there James.
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Extremely glad that you're still in the land of the living! I knew someone that ignored the pain until it got so bad, that he passed out. Unfortunately his appendix burst and they weren't able to save him because his body had been so damaged by the septic shock.
Folks, don't ignore it when your body is telling you something is wrong. Even if it isn't life threatening, you could end up like me, powering through knee and hip pain, which ended up earning me a lot of metal parts, and I didn't get a medal for being tough about the pain!
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I will say a prayer for a speedy recovery for you
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Wow. Good job not being dead. 😮 I really hope someone makes the not-so-good doctor aware of what happened, so maybe next time he'll take a second look and maybe, you know, NOT try to kill someone. 🤨
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Glad to hear you are on the mend. Holy cow!
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Sounds like your family was a bit too busy this summer, considering it almost killed you and your wife. :-)
Glad you are recovering. Make sure you drop the tough guy act for a bit so you don't make it harder than necessary.
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I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. In this day and age of modern medicine, a ruptured appendix seems like something from Little House On the Prairie. But nothing could be further from the truth. When our youngest son was in 2nd grade (2009) his appendix ruptured. He had to be in the hospital for 10 days because the antibiotics were IV only. They told us that if it had happened just a few years before it would have been touch and go if he even lived. Praying you make a speedy recovery.
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Oh wow. So glad you're still with us. My appendix ordeal was run of the mill and extremely boring.
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Gosh seems like a lot of people have their appendix in the wrong place! Mine was in the wrong place too - hiding behind something else. The ER doctors thought I was probably ok too but still kept me overnight for observation and figured it out in the morning. Glad you’re on the mend!
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Holy crap! I’m so glad you’re ok!
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My 46 year old niece did die because of a less than stellar ER doctor…Please get as much rest as possible and when you start to feel better don’t get crazy and over do! Rest is so important. Love to your whole family!
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Wow I am so pleased you are through the worst and you made it. You are a stubborn man! I am sure Lola is relieved she doesn't have to single parent the girls.
Rest up and recover well. You aren't being lazy you are recuperating, nearly dying really takes it out of you.
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This was a terrifying story, and I didn’t live it. So glad to hear you are going to be ok. Based on the teaser tweet I would have never guessed it was as terrible and life threatening as it was. Kudos for knowing you needed to go to the hospital and fork over the money you desperately didn’t want to. Feel better soon!
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Jeez dude, wild ride! Take good care of yourself and maybe don't move for a while, it's gonna hurt like anything. I blew my appendix a week out from Christmas one year and the entire idea of driving was a no go, the ambulance crew pushed a full vial of morphine before they could get me off my bed. You're one tough man.
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I think someone up there in Heaven is looking after You, given the timing of this matter and what hardships You've had to overcome, especially driving ;) All the Best and Get Well Soon!
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Wow. Thankful you finally got a correct diagnosis. Hoping for a speedy recovery.
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You would hope so!
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I'm so glad that you were able to get the help needed. Get well soon!
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I am thankful you survived that horrifying ordeal. I hope you heal quickly, gently, and completely.
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Goodness! Glad you were persistent. Here's to a speedy & complete recovery!
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Glad you’re on the road to recovery. Be thankful you missed divriticulitis. Having had a few medical incidents in my life, that’s the only one to literally put me on my hands and knees. I’m glad you’re okay, and look forward to many more years of contributing to your writing, happily so. The best is yet to come.
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Agreed. As bad as this was, an exploding appendix is a much easier fix than the alternative.
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O My God! What a harrowing experience!😵💫 I cannot believe that you drove yourself! That was not at all safe. When you need help…ASK. I have learned this the hard way, also in the name of saving money.😬 I am certainly glad you are doing better now; hopefully the kids will be helpful and not bother you too much! Take it easy!👍🏼
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At that point, I don't know if I could have waited for an ambulance. Driving myself was the fastest way. Well, the fastest way would have been if somebody else at immediate care would have let me cut in line, but that didn't happen.
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No, I meant the FIRST time you went!
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Really grateful you are okay!
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So glad you're doing better, and hoping recovery will be swift and complete. The last time I had that kind of abdomenal pain I ended up needing surgery and a blood transfusion, for a perforated uterus that was bleeding for a week, the blood collecting and rapidly going off in said uterus. I did not envy the poor surgeon who had to clean that mess up. I hope the girls go easy on you as you get back on your feet.
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The surgeon that took my appendix out said it looked like it was just about to rupture. My surgery was delayed by several hours because there was a serious bus accident in the area and they were holding the available operating rooms open in case they had to take some of the victims. They didn't, but I still had to spend 8 hours in the ER hoping the pain wouldn't get too bad before the nurse was allowed to give me more morphine. It was February 2 and playing on the TV, over and over again, was the movie Groundhog Day. I hate that movie now.
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Glad you got that taken care of . It's been a nightmare of mine it might happen to me for the last 50 years, ever since a young professor "disappeared" from teaching overnight. However, I still have my appendix. My Dad had burst diverticuli 60 years ago, and the poison mess in hi abdomen almost killed him. The colostomy bag he had to wear for 6 months was a double misery. Then he had another surgery to "close up", followed by another surgery to correct the hernia caused by the previous surgeries. He wound up addicted to pain meds and that pretty well screwed up the rest of his work career. A very clean environment was important for the first few months after the initial surgery and a side effect was that my Mom took over washing all dishes as she didn't trust my abilities in that direction. lol Be glad for more modern medicine/drugs and try to take better care of yourself.
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Oh my god! I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, and I hope and pray you will get better soon!
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Glad you are on the mend. I can definitely relate to that level of pain.
My appendix burst when I was 11. On Mother's Day (sorry Mom!) Spent a week in the hospital.
Coincidentally, my ex-husband had his appendix burst on Father's Day in 2010.
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Glad you made it through.
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Congratulations on the win! Your story will help so many people! Godspeed 😊
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I'm so sorry for what you have been through but thankful you are still here to make us laugh. Prayers or positive thoughts (whichever way you roll) for your full recovery. And for Lola.
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Aug 15, 2022 Edited
Wow. As a former nurse i can say you are extremely lucky and meant to be alive!
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Yeah for the good doctor! And double-yeah for you - the cheapest man alive - being willing to go to the ER twice in a week because you knew something was wrong. So glad you’re on the road to recovery and back at home! Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
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I feel for you, James. I have also suffered with that same situation but I was sent home from a military hospital with an improper diagnosis. That was 1967.
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So glad you're on he mend! Sepsis is nothing to be trifled with. I am concerned, though, with driving yourself to the hospital while in so much pain. That is never a good idea, & could have badly affected the outcome of all this. Please never do that again. As all my children are older than you, I feel qualified to give motherly advice here. :) Wishing you a quick & relatively pain-free recovery!
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Maybe you already know this, but there is a theory that your appendix holds a backup supply of good bacteria. So when you are sick and your body flushes your system, your appendix can refill your gut with the good stuff. When my appendix tried to kill me and was removed I got sick a lot. I started drinking kefir and taking probiotics and doing other things to support my gut health. So its something to consider-taking a probiotic and eating/drinking a food with probiotics.
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Oh wow, so scary! So glad you finally got treatment, based on these comments misdiagnosis is common and deadly! Mad respect for driving yourself to the hospital twice. I hope you have a speedy recovery.
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You are officially the toughest guy in the world. I can't imagine running errands and driving with appendicitis. Glad you're on the mend and home. I had drains when I had my breast cancer surgery. It didn't hurt at all when they removed them. Felt strange though.
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So glad you’re still among the living, and wishing you a speedy recovery. My surgeon had me take a deep breath in, then another so when he removed the drain tube I had no air left in my lungs to SCREAM. But it is quick, I agree with Jon, take pain pills before you go.
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Here’s hoping for a nice steady, uneventful recovery!
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I'm glad that you are doing better and are on the road to recovery.
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Ummm, damn dude. Take your care of yourself.
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Exploding Unicorn by James Breakwell Podcast
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Family comedy one disaster at a time.
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